Ok, so I promised something of interest here but ran blank. Guess I need to be at a customers house or something. I did, however, come across these helpfull signs for those of you that may be concerned if you are living with a *ewww* Nascar fan.
If you recognize any of these signs, run to the hills and don't look back.
I'm just here to help people.
OK, so.......you may be a Nascar fan if....
....you can't balance your checkbook but can explain the point system.
....when you have a car accident, the first thing you do is try to pull off the steering wheel. The second thing you do is blame Robby Gordon.
....everytime you rotate the tires at home, you time it with a stop watch and try to do better next time
....you say, "but officer, I was tailgating, I was drafting".
....you paint a large 3 on the side of your Dodge Ram
....you pull into a gas station behind someone else just to see if you can beat them out *requires the wife to clean the windshield and boys to check tire pressure*
....you know what the 'cale scale' is
....your brother-in-law is passing someone on the freeway and you are in the passenger seat yelling, "CAR HIGH! CLEAR!"
....only the drivers side of the windshield gets cleaned
....you line your diecasts up in the same order as the starting grid each week.
....you htink nothing of getting up at 4am, driving 5hours, sitting in a traffic backup for 3 hours, baking in the sun, spending 5 hours to get out of the parking lot, driving 5 hours home, getting up the next morning at 5 am on 3 hours of sleep and telling everybody what a GREAT time you had.
....you tell your body shop guy to "just pull the fender out with your hands cuz you want to go out there and trade some more paint'.
....you have a route to work where you only have to turn left.
....at gas station stop #2 you actually let half a pound of air out of your tires to fix that "push" you picked up after the first stop.
....when you see another car with Nascar stickers on it, you feel it is your duty to show them how fast an 'Earnhardt fan' can take that curve.
....if you just cussed out the Home Depot manager for no other reason than your repressed rage over a certain guy in an orange carwho wrecked your favorite driver bytrying to race like it was the last lap on lap 6.
....at gas station stop # 3, you "block" some else in his "pit stall" preventing him from beating you out of the pits.
Just a few things to watch for people. I feel it is my responsibility to keep you all up on the people out there that you need to watch for.
AML.
Bob
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
I get the Point
Hello bloggers and followers. I have been reading my comments and it appears that some of you seem disappointed in my neglect of my posting duties.
Well, here I am at a customers house, again, goofing off and taking time to let you know that your requests have been heard and I will be sure to post something of unbelievable interest soon.
Hmmmmm, I'm off tomorrow so that means I would have to use my own internet account.....oh well, gives me time to come up with somthing to knock cooters socks off...
Oh Shit, gotta go. Customers coming.
Bye everybody
AML
Well, here I am at a customers house, again, goofing off and taking time to let you know that your requests have been heard and I will be sure to post something of unbelievable interest soon.
Hmmmmm, I'm off tomorrow so that means I would have to use my own internet account.....oh well, gives me time to come up with somthing to knock cooters socks off...
Oh Shit, gotta go. Customers coming.
Bye everybody
AML
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Goofing Off
Ahahahhaha!
I'm at work goofing off blogging from a customers internet that i just installed.
Hi followers. Did y'all miss me? Well, the Nascar fans prolly dint.
Liz, did you miss me?
AML
I'm at work goofing off blogging from a customers internet that i just installed.
Hi followers. Did y'all miss me? Well, the Nascar fans prolly dint.
Liz, did you miss me?
AML
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Invite to the Squatters
Hey, Squatters.. I almost forgot. I have to invite you all to the Cat's lair for a huge party for Enos. Do you know how old Enos is today?
Well, I'll give you a hint. It is somewhere between 40 and 42 but I don't want to say as it is impolite.
So come on down, bring yer lampshades and chocolate chips and wish Enos a Happy Fine Day.
Happy Birthday Enos. You're still the man. Good thing too, cuz if you weren't the man you'd be the woman and, damn, you'd be ugy.
Calvin Mcboinkeroonie!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Blah!
I came home from work last night and realized how much I hate my job. Yes, I know, I have a job so I should shut up and stop whining. But this place sucks the life out of you. Go,go,go. No appreciation, longer hours, by the way, we are cutting your wage....again, and never a positive word. Is it that difficult to pat an employee on the back when they do something right? The harsh words never seem to be a problem to come spewing out like venom, beating you down and making you feel like and insignificant child. No, this isn't the "February Blahs" coming through. Truth be told, I'm ok with the weather and time of year. Hell this isn't February weather anyway. Snow's melting everywhere but the 'goat's way'.
Anyway, I digress. I need my new business to take off so Amy and I can leave our J-O-B's (just over-broke) and do something that will give us what we long for.....what I think we all long for. A little bit more time for us through the week. Time for us to be together, to be with the lovely girls, to sit and appreciate friends, family and all the things that get missed in this amped up dog eat dog society of employment where employers only expect one pace from you. Faster. And more of it.
Crap. I really hate my job.
Thank you followers for tolerating the latest ridiculous rant from Blobber Bog.
AML.
Anyway, I digress. I need my new business to take off so Amy and I can leave our J-O-B's (just over-broke) and do something that will give us what we long for.....what I think we all long for. A little bit more time for us through the week. Time for us to be together, to be with the lovely girls, to sit and appreciate friends, family and all the things that get missed in this amped up dog eat dog society of employment where employers only expect one pace from you. Faster. And more of it.
Crap. I really hate my job.
Thank you followers for tolerating the latest ridiculous rant from Blobber Bog.
AML.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
Hannah's Back
Great news. baseballs' back and the wonderful and talented Hannah has been registered to play for your Woodview park baseball club. Come out and watch this 7 year old baseball phenom tear it up this summer.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
To the Squatters.......
I would like to thank you all for keeping my blog interesting during my unplanned absence. I'm sure you are all quite proud of yourselves.
Now Piss Off. Write your own fascinating blogs about Knitting and Nascar and I'll do my part.
But first, I have to clean up all this mess left behind from the squatters at my inpromptu party.
AAWWWWW! Christ on a Pony!!! Look at the friggin' mess left over there by cookie. I mean really. And tire tracks from that ridiculous tanned freak in the lambourghini.. and don't sit there. You almost sat on a knitting needle with traces of blue yarn. Would've had to go to some kinda special Doctor for that Man. Almost a one in a million shot Doc.
Now Piss Off. Write your own fascinating blogs about Knitting and Nascar and I'll do my part.
But first, I have to clean up all this mess left behind from the squatters at my inpromptu party.
AAWWWWW! Christ on a Pony!!! Look at the friggin' mess left over there by cookie. I mean really. And tire tracks from that ridiculous tanned freak in the lambourghini.. and don't sit there. You almost sat on a knitting needle with traces of blue yarn. Would've had to go to some kinda special Doctor for that Man. Almost a one in a million shot Doc.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Hooray...for me
I haven't posted for some time now as I felt the pressure to be creative. i mean, what do I write to keep the wit of Dorito and the Royal Squidgey One entertained. It really is quite daunting. And then of course the dryest of humour to entertain Enos.
So, today, I don't care. This one is about me. As some of you may or may not know, I have been going through to get my life insurance license. Success has come to me and I received my license on Saturday past. i am so excited. I really look forward to this and hope that sooner than later I will do good enough in my new carreer to get rid of that God-awful red van in my driveway.
So spread the word people. If you need someone to talk excitement to you in the way of boring life insurance, then Da Bonkmonster is your man. (That's not what it will say on my card, although I did think about it for a moment then Amy called me a Jack- Ass and brought me back to reality).
So, today, I don't care. This one is about me. As some of you may or may not know, I have been going through to get my life insurance license. Success has come to me and I received my license on Saturday past. i am so excited. I really look forward to this and hope that sooner than later I will do good enough in my new carreer to get rid of that God-awful red van in my driveway.
So spread the word people. If you need someone to talk excitement to you in the way of boring life insurance, then Da Bonkmonster is your man. (That's not what it will say on my card, although I did think about it for a moment then Amy called me a Jack- Ass and brought me back to reality).
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Its'.... Arrested Development
My friends Nick and Holly got us into this show. We have now watched all 3 seasons and purchased season 1. Fargin' hilarious. Best thing on TV. Too bad it ended.
But wait! IMDB.com has said that a new season has been announced with the entire cast returning.
Very Cool.
Do yourself a favor. Go watch it.
Calvin said so.
AML
But wait! IMDB.com has said that a new season has been announced with the entire cast returning.
Very Cool.
Do yourself a favor. Go watch it.
Calvin said so.
AML
Monday, January 5, 2009
Happy New Year and Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah
Right then, so this is ott-9. Happy days to my friends and followers. First off, I must apologize for not updating sooner as I'm sure you all have been anxiously awaiting word from the red cat.
I still don't have much to share but this thought. I would like to that a good friend of mine for a wonderful gift she gave Amy and I over the holidays. I will change the name to protect the guilty so I'll call her, say, um, Michelle. ;). It seems that 10 years ago or so our friend "Michelle" had the opportunity to be on a television program called "Cooking For Love" which aired on W network. It was quite unwatchable as even my friend "Michelle" would readily agree. The simple premise was that these 3 wannabe suitors had to cook a meal for "Michelle" at her requests. She order a Thai dish of some sort and a papaya frape. whatever. This is really irrelevant. I just wanted to comment on the things that came out of "Michelle's" mouth as this woman is quick with wit and humour but clearly had her brain filter turned 'off' for about 30 minutes.
The hilight of the program came for me when one gentleman asked "Michelle" if she were stranded on a desert island and could have only one restaurant, what would it be. "Michelle" chose Burger King cuz, and I quote, 'sometimes a girl just needs a whooper'. Well, I found this to be just about the funniest thing I ever heard on TV and new right then how much "Michelle" must think of Amy and I to put herself out there like that. The hair, the style, the ultimate date choice. It was all too much. What a great gift. To this, I must take the time to once again thank the beautiful and tall "Michelle" for sharing. We weren't laughing at you, we were laughing with you..... well kind of.
So tear open a fresh bag of tasty doritos and some maraschino cherries and enjoy yourselves a happy safe 2009 full of useless crap to blog about.
AML all,
Calvin.
I still don't have much to share but this thought. I would like to that a good friend of mine for a wonderful gift she gave Amy and I over the holidays. I will change the name to protect the guilty so I'll call her, say, um, Michelle. ;). It seems that 10 years ago or so our friend "Michelle" had the opportunity to be on a television program called "Cooking For Love" which aired on W network. It was quite unwatchable as even my friend "Michelle" would readily agree. The simple premise was that these 3 wannabe suitors had to cook a meal for "Michelle" at her requests. She order a Thai dish of some sort and a papaya frape. whatever. This is really irrelevant. I just wanted to comment on the things that came out of "Michelle's" mouth as this woman is quick with wit and humour but clearly had her brain filter turned 'off' for about 30 minutes.
The hilight of the program came for me when one gentleman asked "Michelle" if she were stranded on a desert island and could have only one restaurant, what would it be. "Michelle" chose Burger King cuz, and I quote, 'sometimes a girl just needs a whooper'. Well, I found this to be just about the funniest thing I ever heard on TV and new right then how much "Michelle" must think of Amy and I to put herself out there like that. The hair, the style, the ultimate date choice. It was all too much. What a great gift. To this, I must take the time to once again thank the beautiful and tall "Michelle" for sharing. We weren't laughing at you, we were laughing with you..... well kind of.
So tear open a fresh bag of tasty doritos and some maraschino cherries and enjoy yourselves a happy safe 2009 full of useless crap to blog about.
AML all,
Calvin.
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